Jumping the Gunn

ACHTUNG: Verderberalarmbereitschaft!
(WARNING: Spoiler Alert!)

I warn because my TiVo did not. At least I think it might be a spoiler. I won't know for sure until next week's Project Runway. But last night's episode ended with a cliffhanger: Would Jeffrey Sebelia be disqualified for allegedly cheating?

Or it would've been a cliffhanger if I hadn't noticed the title of the episode before I hit delete on my TiVo: "The final three contestants."


Arbeit macht drei...

On the show's official website, the episode is simply titled "Finale, Part 1." But TiVo wasn't the only listing to mention a "final three," despite the fact that as of the conclusion of the episode, there were still four contestants. Google's cached page of Zap2it's TV listing (retrieved on October 5) offers this description: "The final three contestants prepare to show their collections at New York Fashion Week."


...Oder drei machen es arbeitet

However, now Zap2it's description simply says "The final contestants prepare to show their collections at New York Fashion Week."

It's possible that this description was written before Project Runway revealed the twist that this season would feature a final four instead of a final three, however, that twist was revealed two weeks ago on the September 27th episode. And TiVo doesn't even put out schedule information more than two weeks in advance.

We'll have to wait until next week to see if this was really a spoiler.

American Dreamz 2?

I can't decide which is the funnier thing about this photo: The goofy grin on President Bush's face or the fact that the AP felt the need to caption it, "President Bush, center, poses with 9 of the top 10 American Idol finalists..."


American Idiot, center

America, this is what happens when you (and by you, I mean we) elect a pop star who looks like he's 60; people could conceivably confuse him with George Bush. Thank you, AP, for clarifying.

Previously, on The Dish: Two If By Sea 2?, Tossed Salad and Scrambled Eggs, Maybe, But Still No Heart and Soul, BUSH DECLARES WAR ON POP CULTURE!

Moms & Dads' Day

Well, June 10 came and went without incident, but June 12 is shaping up to be a magical day.

I was wondering why this site was suddenly getting hundreds of hits from people searching for information about Shane Klingensmith - that wonderous pre-boy bander who had it all: looks, dance moves, angelic voice. Turns out, Bravo's running a marathon of every episode of Showbiz Moms & Dads today from 1 to 7 pm! And since there's no DVD set in sight, I'll be recording every episode so that I can relive every uncomfortable moment.

But wait! There's more! Thanks to a heads up on the World of Wonder website (chock full of info about Showbiz Moms & Dads, Showdog Moms & Dads and Sports Kids Moms & Dads), I've learned that Oprah is re-running her sitdown with two of the Sports Kids Moms & Dads parents... TODAY! All hail June 12! (if only she were re-airing her chat with the Nutters!)

As for Shane (who readers of The Dish are obviously clammoring for information about), there's not too much news to report. When last we checked in with him, his website had been abandoned, but his loyal Street Team remained. Now, sadly, they too have gone missing:



And unlike other Moms & Dads alumni (and The Pop Culture Petri Dish), Shane has no MySpace profile. However, I did find two bits of old news to share with you.

First, in 2004, Shane was named Best Escort at the Miss Florida American Sweetheart Optional Pageant, for escorting his niece (and Top Semi-Finalist) Bethany Klingensmith.


Bethany Klingensmith and crown

Second, it appears Showbiz Moms & Dads executive producers Fenton Bailey and Randy Barbato wanted to work with Shane again:

This year for our Christmas card we plan to dredge up an old Pop Tarts pop song, "Hot Christmas." Without boasting, it's a catchy ditty - in a completely toxic kind of way - with the chorus "I'm dreaming of a hot Christmas, c'mmon baby let's [beat] this christmas." It's suggestive in an innocent way. Mild double entendre, that kind of thing. So we think who better to sing this song than Shane Klingensmith who sang "Hot Hot Hot" in Showbiz Moms and Dads? Everything is going just fine until the manager intervenes:

I'm pretty sure it implies having sex, but I think instead of putting the single beat in there (where the word would be) it should be changed to something like "let's kiss this Christmas" or "let's light a fire this Christmas." Hopefully you understand what I'm saying

We reply:

We can't change the words of the song because that's the whole idea: KLet's blank this Christmas. Because it's just a beat, because no rude words are actually said, it's all up to people's imagination. And because no one is saying any rude words, it's really very innocent.

Doesn't make any difference. Everyone's afraid - even of innuendo.

Ah, what might've been...

Previously, on The Dish: Gotta Love The "Dunc Nut", Misses Mr. Klingensmith, After They Were "Stars", Retraction III

Ace's Faces

Is it just me?


Like, woah!

Subliminal Mess-Up

Almost a year ago exactly, American Idol "accidentally" displayed the wrong phone numbers during the end-of-episode recap. Well, to mark the anniversary, they did it again tonight... briefly.

During Mandisa's performance, her name and number flashed across the screen, though over a random strip of violin footage from the orchestra rather than the traditional blue backdrop with the Cingular logo:


Sexy and violins

Then, for less than a second, it switched to the blue Cingular backdrop we all know and love... while subliminally plugging Taylor Hicks and his phone number:


Did Taylor dye his hair or something? He looks different somehow...

Quickly, the Chyron dissolved back to Mandisa's information (still over the violin) for just over a second before vanishing completely.

I'm guessing FOX probably won't bother re-airing tonight's episode with the correct Chyron tomorrow night, since Unan1mous actually seems to be doing well in the ratings. Though I do wonder why they couldn't have corrected this mistake between the live broadcast on the East Coast and the West Coast broadcast.

UPDATED:
Now with video:

UPDATED AGAIN:
Or not... YouTube has removed the video as a result of "a third-party notification claiming that this material is infringing." While technically, legally, this may be true, and this blog does not claim to be above the law, one has to wonder what sort of damages a mere ten second clip could cause... especially while (at least for the moment) all these other Idol clips are still online at YouTube, many of them longer and posted before my clip.

Lake v. Peterson

One of my favorite parts of any new Amazing Race season is the nicknames that teams bestow upon one another before they learn everyone's real names. And this season premiere did not disappoint! Among the early sobriquets: "The Frosties," "The Hippies," "Ken & Barbie," "The Ho's," "The Einstein Couple," "Double D," "Mom & Daughter," "The Gay Guys," "Frat Boys" and "That Black Girl" (not to be confused with The Black Family).

But, by far, the greatest moniker of the night was offered by Jo (of "MoJo" fame), who called Lake Garner "Scott Peterson!"


"I'm sorry. That was... partially my fault really."

While there's no doubt Lake is the most likely to murder his pregnant wife and dump her body in the ocean, personally, I think he looks more like another jailbird...


Check out that air guitar!

Anyway, I'm just waiting for somebody to call these douchebags "Jeric"

Dunk Nut

In the category of things I suffer through so you don't have to, I present this snippet of a conversation between two of the most noxious personalities ever to grace a TV set, Rita Cosby and Brian Dunkleman:

COSBY: And do you still stay in touch with any of the folks from the show?

DUNKLEMAN: No, I don't. You know, I called Randy Jackson a couple years ago to wish him a happy Martin Luther King Day, and I never heard back from him, so...

COSBY: Well, thank you very much for being with us, Brian. We appreciate it. And we'll look at IdolGohome.com. Thanks so much for being with us.

Now that I've seemingly solved the case of Jamie Foxx's involvement with "Gold Digger," my new mission is to unravel the mystery of how Rita Cosby - a woman with the most irritating voice in the world, a not-particularly-attractive face, zero journalistic integrity, endless fascination with unimportant "news stories" and horribly insensitive interviewing "technique" - is allowed to be on television.

Of the Creek?

Is Kellie Pickler of American Idol fame (Don't believe she's famous after one episode? Check out these fan sites!) from the fictional town of Capeside?

Like Jen Lindley, she lives with a grandparent, and like Joey Potter, she's a waitress without a mother whose father has been in and out of jail because of drugs, and she's into pageants. Also like Joey, girl can sing.

By all means, Kellie, stay away from Tom Cruise.

The Producers

I can look past the Producers Guild Awards' inclusion of the hacky Crash (Crap + Trash = Crash) over infinitely better films like Munich and King Kong. I can even look past their inclusion of Two and a Half Men and Desperate Housewives in the Television Series: Comedy category. But to nominate The Amazing Race 6 in the Non-Fiction category (when they also nominated the far superior Amazing Race 7) is just preposterous.

Lest you (and obviously the members of the Producers Guild) forget, The Amazing Race 6 is the season that gave us such screechingly dysfunctional couples as Freddy & Kendra, Adam & Rebecca, Hayden & Aaron and, the most dysfunctional of them all, Jonathan & Victoria! To paraphrase Annie Hall's opening joke, this was possibly the worst season of The Amazing Race ever (maybe even worse than the Family Edition), and only six of its thirteen episodes even aired in 2005! Come on Producers Guild, spread the love! What about Survivor: Palau, Showdog Moms & Dads, Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County, Project Greenlight or Project Runway?

Oh, and Crash? Come on!

"Me Pop Culture Petri Dish, You Jane Schmo"

Oh. My. God. I've just stumbled upon the single greatest discovery of my year-and-a-half long blogging career. Actually, I should say the single greatest discovery stumbled upon my blog.

I was browsing through some old posts, deleting spammer's comments, when I read a comment that at first didn't make sense to me. In response to Alex's suggestion that "we should cast a serious Law and Order-y drama with nothing but Joe Schmo alumni", somebody wrote: "If so... can I play? -The original Jane."

I re-read the comment. An idea popped into my head... but it couldn't be. I clicked on Sober in the City's profile. Nothing in there indicated that this was the profile of a reality tv goddess... and really, wouldn't a reality tv goddess make that abundantly clear in her profile? I moved on to her co-op blog anyway. At the top of the page it said something about "a former reality TV 'er' working in fundraising." My hopes were now officially up. But I needed something more solid...

And then I found it. This post. This fascinating post. This fascinating, witty, well-written, at times heart-breaking post. If you have any love in your heart for The Joe Schmo Show, this post is a must read, though I have to warn you, it kind of strips away the magic and makes the brilliant producers and actors look like Joe Schmucks. It's sad to see that the star of the show didn't have nearly as good a time with it as we, the viewers, did.

Still, I've now discovered the blog of Ingrid Wiese - original Jane Schmo and #2 on the list of My Top Ten Biggest Reality Infatuations Ever (though after reading her profile, her posts, her columns for the college newspaper and her comment on this very blog, I'm officially moving her up to #1, even though I apparently fall outside her desired age bracket). If I could hug the Internet right now, I would (that is, if I wasn't afraid I might catch something).

Now #1: I'd give her a pearl necklace in a heartbeat