Thursday, January 27, 2005

Directed by Breck Eisner!

Do those words thrill you?

'Cause that's what the trailer guy proclaims proudly in his booming voice at the (merciful) end of the Sahara trailer.

So who the fuck is Breck Eisner and why should we care that he directed this piece of crap?

Well, according to IMDb, he hasn't done anything of note... except spew forth from the urethra of Lord Farquaad.

Ironically, he also appeared in a film called The Auteur Theory.

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Smooth Operators

One of these things is not like the others

What do all five Best Actor in a Leading Role nominees have in common?

Give up?

They were all here.

Who wasn't?

Paul Giamatti.

Guess he should've spent less time hosting SNL and more time telethoning*.

*I know that neither the telethon nor Giamatti's SNL appearance had any actual impact on the Academy Award nominations, as ballots were due the afternoon of the telethon's broadcast and a week before Giamatti's hosting duties. But still...

Ask and ye shall receive...

Liz over at greenfireburning demanded reactions to the Oscar nominations and they're up over at The Oscar Grouch.

Friday, January 21, 2005

Where News is Made

Apparently the West Hollywood newsstand Swing News is the nexus of "celebrity" meltdowns/tantrums.

First Courtney Love and now Paris Hilton.

If The Pop Culture Petri Dish ever finalizes the nominees for the First Annual American Trainwreck Awards, I nominate Swing News for the award show's venue.

Thursday, January 20, 2005

Tossed Salad and Scrambled Eggs, Maybe, But Still No Heart and Soul

The other day, I called on The President to belatedly appologize for his repeated statements that the heart and soul of America could not be found in Hollywood.

Two days later, he began to acknowledge that there are in fact a few "fine" and "patriotic" entertainers, but he stopped short of admitting that the heart and soul of America can in fact be found in Hollywood:

I thank Kelsey Grammer -- what a fine man. I appreciate his patriotism and being the emcee of this fantastic event. I want to thank all the other entertainers who have taken of their time to entertain our troops, and really to say -- what they're doing here is to say thank goodness for your service.

Maybe he feels a special appreciation for Mr. Grammer because of their common interests, but certainly there were plenty of other entertainers by Frasier's side on Saturday night at the tsunami relief telethon... in Hollywood.

So why is President Bush so unable to find some trace of the heart and soul of America in our fair town?

Maybe the heart and soul of America looks like a weapon of mass destruction.

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

How's this for a title...

How to Succeed in Business Without Really Succeeding

But you know, there's a sick part of me that really wants to see this.

Monday, January 17, 2005

For a Few Fockers More

"So... you ever get teased in school?... Yeah, me too."

Apparently there actually are "dozens" of unlisted Fockers in this country. Who knew?

Sunday, January 16, 2005

Giving is its own Award

"Is it too late to call and vote for The People's Choice Awards?"

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Originally this was to appear on our blog-spawn The Oscar Grouch, but alas its content veered towards more general pop cultural (and unfortunately, political) commentary, which seemed more appropriate for The Dish]

If I were a cynical person, I might suggest that telethons had joined talk shows, Saturday Night Live and private Academy member parties as required destinations for Awards-whores. But I'm not.

Even though current contenders Jamie "I'll show up for any cause as long as there's a camera" Foxx (did anyone else see Stevie Wonder flinch when Jay Leno pronounced that Ray Charles himself was in the room?), Leonardo "Million Dollar Baby" DiCaprio, Johnny Depp, Clint Eastwood, Morgan Freeman, Annette Bening, Uma Thurman, Quentin Tarantino, Don Cheadle, Natalie Portman, Kevin Spacey and (I think I saw) Hillary Swank were all there (I'm guessing Michael Moore's invitation for more media exposure got lost in the mail - or maybe he was just afraid to test his luck with Dirty Harry).

But like I said, I'm not a cynical person. The disproportianately large percentage of Academy Award chasers in attendance is most logically explained by this thing being arranged as a defacto pre-Golden Globes event (so all the New Yorkers and ex-patriots and location-shooters who are in Los Angeles because they're nominated could show up for phone bank duty).

And even though I snark, I actually have a great deal of respect for all the entertainers (even the ones I don't generally care for) who gave their time for this truly good cause. I think that a lot of times, celebrities get a bad rap when they try to use their fame to achieve something selfless that they believe in (be it political or charitable), but I say more power to them, even when they're supporting a cause I personally don't. Why shouldn't they voice their opinions just as passionately as any Average Joe with a bumper sticker just because they happen to have a bigger bumper? Shouldn't we encourage them to sell something other than their latest piece of formulaic crap? Like it or not, celebrities have power - and they can use that to motivate people to be generous. Didn't The President ask former Presidents Bush and Clinton to do exactly that (and what are they if not celebrities? Clinton was even number 18 on VH1's 200 Greatest Pop Culture Icons list - smack dab between The Brady Bunch and Mickey Mouse)?

Speaking of The President, I think it's time he apologized for snarking that "the heart and soul of America" can't be found in Hollywood. This has nothing to do with political affiliations or any of his other actions or beliefs. This is about that stupid comment that he made repeatedly last sumer - from his stump speech to his Convention address. As someone who can be found in Hollywood, I took very personal offense to this divisive attack from The Great Uniter. Sure, there's a lot of unseemliness going on here (I'm looking at you John Mayer, Mr. Potty Mouth) and we have more than our share of immoral people (I don't mean that in the Judeo-Christian sense, but in the humanist sense) - but there are also a lot of genuinely good people here (including, I think, myself) who do genuinely good things (as evidenced by NBC's telethon and Sandra Bullock's, Steven Spielberg's, Celine Dion's and DiCaprio's generosity), even by President Bush's own standards:

But the greatest source of America's generosity is not our government: it's the good heart of the American people. In the weeks since the tsunami struck, private citizens have contributed millions of dollars for disaster relief and reconstruction.

I'm confused... is this the same "heart" that can't be found in Hollywood?

I'm not here to belittle The President by comparing his generous $10,000 personal donation to Sandra Bullock's generous $1,280,000 donation (though technically, her heart and soul can be found in Texas, she's still a movie star). Everyone gives what's right for them. I gave considerably less than either one of them. All I'm saying is that he owes Hollywood an apology (even Factor made nice (sorta) with his arch-nemesis, Bruce Wayne, seeing that sometimes Hollywood's heart and soul are in the right place).

The heart and soul of America can be found in every corner of America. And everywhere inbetween. How tough is it to say that? Certainly not as tough to say as "nuclear" or "underestimate."

Sorry. Cheap shot. But see, apologizing, not so difficult.

And seriously, look how many hits you get when you search for ""leonardo dicaprio" tsunami donation" - Harvey Weinstein couldn't buy that kind of publicity.

Oh and what were Rumer, Scout and Tallulah Belle doing there? Don't most celebrity parents try to shield their children from the glare of the media (nevermind)? And how does Bruce Willis say their names with a straight face -- or without thinking of this?

Damn it, there I go snarking again. Why don't I link to The Red Cross and we'll call it even?

Saturday, January 01, 2005

New Year's Cheer

You know, in all the hubub over Jerry Falwell outing Tinky Winky a few years ago, how did this character remain in the closet?:

I'm here, I'm Cheer, get used to it!

I mean, just look at the synonyms for "cheery"... not that there's anything wrong with that.

Happy New Year!