Top Ten Best Reasons Brokeback Mountain Shouldn't Win Best Adapted Screenplay Ever

1. “Jack Twist? Jack Nasty!”
2. “I wish I knew how to quit you.”
3. “And I’m not you, I can’t make it on a couple of high-altitude fucks once or twice a year.”
4. “You know, friend... This is a Goddam bitch of an unsatisfactory situation.”
5. “So what we got now is Brokeback Mountain.”
6. “Son of a horsin’ bitch.” Or “Son of a whore’s son bitch.”
7. “That Brokeback got us good, don’t it?”
8. “Is it somebody you cowboyed with, or what?”
9. “What I don’t know, all them things that I don’t know, could get you killed if I come to know them.”
10. “If you pair of deuces are lookin’ for work, I suggest you get your scrawny asses in here, pronto.”
10½. “You know your friend could come inside, have a cup of coffee.” “Oh he’s from Texas.”