Reality TV's Most Wanted

Bad boys, bad boys...


I hope that The F.B.I., local authorities in Corpus Christi and criminal profilers are watching reality television this summer, as I've spotted two future felons already.

The spousal abusive tendencies of Colin Guinn (not to be confused with the nearly-as-repugnant Colin Quinn) have already been well-documented across the blogosphere, and are immediately obvious to anyone possessing eyes or ears who isn't a former Miss Teen USA. As if we needed another reason to root against Scott & Laci (not to be confused with the far-more-compatible Scott & Jasey) in The Race, just look at these ominous words from soon-to-be-corpse-ish Christie:

"Another reason for doing this Race is that it is a test to see if we are marriage potential. I know we can win, and if we do, we're getting married right after the show."

For her own well-being, I pray they lose (although please, please don't let it be because she burns dinner).

With Randy from Amish in the City, the warning signs aren't as obvious. There's just something about him that screams (in a muffled voice from under the floorboards) future serial killer, and I'm noting it now because I don't want to be one of those neighbors that pops up on the eleven o'clock news to say: "He was nice, but kinda kept to himself. I never would've thought he could do something like this..." because I totally think he could do something like that!

Oh, and as long as I'm being vigilant, I'd be remiss if I didn't also include Fraternity Life's Earl Altheide, a future serial killer if ever there was one. And I'm betting that, as cliche as it may be, he starts with his dear mother.