Monday, January 30, 2006

If I Picked The Razzies

Once again, The Razzies miss the mark. Although a great concept in theory, The Golden Raspberry Award Foundation has, in recent years, become even more political than the Academy it parodies. It's not about the movies... it's about trashing easy targets like popstars (Ashlee Simpson, Jessica Simpson, Hilary Duff, Jennifer Lopez) and tabloid fodder (Paris Hilton, Katie Holmes, Tara Reid, Tom Cruise) whether or not they're deserving (personally, I believe Cruise's work in War of the Worlds was all the more incredible because he made me forget what a nut he was in real life -- if there is a Razzie-worth performance in that film, it has to be Tim Robbins'). And 14 of my Top 15 Worst Movies of 2005 were completely shut out!

So, I present my choices for the worst of the worst. Sadly, many of this years' bad movies were quite forgettable, so I may be leaving out some note-worthy performances (it's hard to single out any one performance from Cursed or D.E.B.S. when all I can remember is that I hated those movies). Drumroll please...

Worst Picture
Diary of a Mad Black Woman
Fantastic Four

Worst Director
Mike Binder, The Upside of Anger
Rob Cohen, Stealth
Darren Grant, Diary of a Mad Black Woman
Michael Haneke, Caché
Tim Story, Fantastic Four

Worst Screenplay
Peter A. Dowling and Billy Ray, Flightplan
Ehren Kruger, The Brothers Grimm
Larry McMurtry & Diana Ossana, Brokeback Mountain
Tyler Perry, Diary of a Mad Black Woman
W. D. Richter, Stealth

Worst Actor
Orlando Bloom, Kingdom of Heaven
Ice Cube, xXx: State of the Union
Ioan Gruffudd, Fantastic Four
Josh Lucas, Stealth
Paul Walker, Into the Blue

Worst Actress
Jennifer Aniston, Rumor Has It...
Devon Aoki/Jordana Brewster/Meagan Good/Sara Foster/Jill Ritchie, D.E.B.S.
Jessica Biel, Stealth
Kimberly Elise, Diary of a Mad Black Woman
Ziyi Zhang, Memoirs of a Geisha

Worst Supporting Actor
Mike Binder, The Upside of Anger
Michael Chiklis, Fantastic Four
Willem Dafoe, xXx: State of the Union
Extreme Deep Invader (EDI), Stealth
Jamie Foxx, Stealth
Steve Harris, Diary of a Mad Black Woman
Werner Herzog, Grizzly Man
Tyler Perry, Diary of a Mad Black Woman
Richard Roxburgh, Stealth
Mark Ruffalo, Rumor Has It...
Jason Schwartzman, Shopgirl
Scott Speedman, xXx: State of the Union

Worst Supporting Actress
Hope Davis, Proof
Fionnula Flanagan, Transamerica
Lisa Marcos, Diary of a Mad Black Woman
Tyler Perry, Diary of a Mad Black Woman
Jessica Simpson, The Dukes of Hazzard

Worst Remake or Sequel
The Honeymooners
The Legend of Zorro
The Ring Two
xXx: State of the Union

Worst Screen Couple
Jessica Alba & Ioan Gruffudd, Fantastic Four
Jessica Alba & Paul Walker, Into the Blue
Jennifer Aniston & Mark Ruffalo, Rumor Has It...
Mike Binder & Erika Christensen, The Upside of Anger
Hayden Christensen & Natalie Portman, Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith
EDI & The Refueling Station, Stealth
Kimberly Elise & Steve Harris, Diary of a Mad Black Woman
Jake Gyllenhaal & Heath Ledger, Brokeback Mountain
Jake Gyllenhaal & Gwyneth Paltrow, Proof
Steve Martin & Claire Danes & Jason Schwartzman, Shopgirl

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Anonymous Bethany said...

I completely agree about the Razzies becoming more and more political. I nominate the Razzies for the worst nominations of the year. I don't entirely agree with you about Kimberly Elise. I commend her committing to her character. Though if she shows up in the sequel I will officially loose all respect for her.

Secondly, Stanislav Ianevski from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire should have most definitely received a nomination. He had about three lines in the whole movie and every one was clumsy and cringe inducting. And I don't think it was a language barrier. He sucked.

January 30, 2006 11:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Debs was good.. you missed the point!!!

February 08, 2006 3:51 PM  
Blogger The Pop Culture Petri Dish said...

If the point was to make me not want to claw my eyeballs out, then yes, I did miss the point.

February 14, 2006 12:32 AM  

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