Gross

While it surely played to packed houses this weekend (the 7:55 Sunday night show I attended was packed), I have to wonder whether The Aristocrats would have placed as high on this list of Top Weekend Theater Averages if one of its four screens wasn't The Arclight, where tickets to all but two shows this weekend cost a whopping $14 (according to Box Office Mojo, the national average is $6.40)

And now ten comedians I would have liked to have seen featured in The Aristocrats:

1. Eddie Murphy
2. Bill Cosby
3. Woody Allen
4. Jerry Seinfeld
5. Chevy Chase
6. Richard Pryor
7. Dave Chapelle
8. Roseanne
9. Jim Carrey
10. Martin Lawrence
10½. Bonnie McFarlane

Also: Larry David, Howard Stern, Mel Brooks, Ellen DeGeneres, Janeane Garofalo, Albert Brooks, Denis Leary, Ray Romano, Paul Reubens and, uh, Paula Poundstone