Tuesday, March 29, 2005

The Hawkeye State and Main

Don't forget, Invasion Iowa premieres tonight at 9pm/8 Central on Spike, with a replay at 11pm/10 Central. Don't miss it, because those are the only two airings of this episode currently on the schedule.

Monday, March 28, 2005

Top Ten Best Iowans Ever

1. Johnny Carson
2. John Wayne
3. Jane Espenson
4. Ron Livingston
5. Marcia Wallace
6. Laura Leighton
7. Donna Reed
8. Cloris Leachman
9. Elijah Wood
10. Every other Iowan ever
10½. Tom Arnold, Lara Flynn Boyle, Ashton Kutcher (tie)

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Big Fish, Smaller Pond

It occurred to me that at this year’s Emmys, all five of the nominees for Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Drama Series could be past Academy Award nominees. Newcomers (at least in this category) Shohreh Aghdashloo (24), Candice Bergen (Boston Legal) and Glenn Close (The Shield) could join previous nominees Stockard Channing (The West Wing) and Rachel Griffiths (Six Feet Under).

I haven’t done the research, but I’ll assume that would be a prestigious first for a regular series category at The Emmys (in 2003 there were three Oscar nominees in this category, with Lena Olin up against Channing and Griffiths for her one season stint on Alias).

Anyway, it’s conceivable, though not too likely. Personally I think any one of the newcomers has a better shot at a nomination this year than Channing, and Griffiths may set her sights on the Lead category once again, but it’s an intriguing possibility nonetheless.

[Late Update: Since I refuse to watch any CBS dramas, I forgot that Academy Award winner Mary Steenburgen could be a darkhorse contender for her work on Joan of Arcadia as well.]

Monday, March 21, 2005

One Headline

The new CNN Headline News proves how on-the-pulse they are by booking... The Wallflowers?

Here's a headline: This isn't 1996.

Oh, There's Nothing Half Way...

It's coming!

Back in September, I first heard about a new show from the creators of The Joe Schmo Show. Now, six months to the day later, this sure-to-be masterpiece, Invasion Iowa, will premiere on March 29 on Spike TV.

As I haven't watched Spike (still no relation to Lee) since the finale of Joe Schmo 2, Invasion Iowa's impending berth has snuck up on me. I can't believe it's just a week and a day away! And since I've yet to see any advance promotion, I was caught off guard when I discovered on reality genius Rhett Reese's new Invasion Iowa blog that the new series is in fact a mini-series, lasting but four nights and five hours.

I'm not sure how to feel about this abreviated run. I'll reserve judgment until after the two-hour April Fool's Day finale and pray for an extensive DVD release.

For now, mark your calendars, set your TiVos, program your VCRs, cancel any plans you may have thought you had and brace yourselves for INVASION IOWA!

United Para!@#$% Network

Man, those prudes at UPN will censor anything!

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Hooray for Model@#$%


Fear of the FCC crackdown on indecency has officially gone too far.

Last night, on America's Next Top Model, they blurred out part of a sign that I can only presume said "Modelwood" (surely the residents of Modelwood Drive in Beverly Hills, Florida will be dismayed to learn that their address is considered obscene by the people who put Shasta McNasty on the air).

Apparently, UPN's Standards & Practices department is run by giggling 12-year-old boys who think that "wood" is a naughty word (though pictures of women barely concealing their nipples close out each episode with nary a pixelation in sight). I don't have a tape of last week's show, but this summary, which notes that one of the rooms is indeed named "Modelwood," suggests that there was no problem with the compound word then. Maybe the network got some calls from Brent Bozell between installments.

As Jonathan from The Amazing Race would say, "reality blurred"

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Identity Theft

One of the easiest (and most fun things) to do is come up with porno titles "based on" real Hollywood movies.

So why couldn't the writers at The O.C. come up with anything better than The Porn Identity for Julie Cooper's foray into the wonderful world of adult film? Forget for a minute that it's not the most clever or original title (Jessica Jaymes, Matt Damon and Matt Flamin all beat them to the punchline), but it doesn't even make sense (chronologically).

The premise is that back when she was a struggling waitress, before she met Jimmy Cooper or gave birth to Marissa, she starred in a porno video to make money. So that would make this video at least 17 years old - predating the Matt Damon hit The Bourne Identity by 14 years.

While I suppose that it could've been intended as a parody of the 1975 Robert Ludlum novel or 1988 television miniseries (starring Richard Chamberlain), I don't know how many porn movies base their titles on literature and forgettable miniseries (apparently there was a 1985 movie called The Pornbirds, but no Whore and Remembrance, Shogunk, Bonesome Love or Shoah Girls).

Monday, March 07, 2005

After They Were "Stars"

So, I'm watching Be Cool this weekend, and who pops up as Cedric the Entertainer's prep-school daughter?

Jordan Moseley!

That's right - the breakout star of Showbiz Moms & Dads proves once again her box-office prowess.

Meanwhile, that other Jordan apparently couldn't even stay off the cutting room floor for that straight-to-video Heidi Fleiss alien movie she was shooting.

Still no Duncan Nutter or Shane Klingensmith sightings to report.

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, check out Bravo's March 10th marathon. And don't forget that Showdog Moms & Dads premieres on March 30th!

Friday, March 04, 2005

Nicolas Cage is "The" "Man"

First, he was The Family Man.

Then, he was one of the Matchstick Men.

Soon, he'll be The Weather Man.

And now, he's The Wicker Man.

We get it. You have a penis. Good for you. And your 21-year-old childbride.

Too bad that Superman thing didn't work out for you, though.